A day in my life and you know what i found out ?.......... I am just as boring as every other twat !
So i got up this morning or should i say got woken up this morning by my young lady whilst she was getting ready for work . Mabs (my girlfriend) is certainly not a morning person, when she is getting ready for work she can create more carnage than the Kraken and make more noise than Death punk Metal band ! So i woke from my slumber and i was pretty pissed off which didn't help with my negotiation with the misses about getting a cuppa brought to me in bed ! So i got my old ass out of bed made MYSELF a brew and sat and watched Fraiser an channel 4. Hes the Jolly Balding fella who was a bit part on Cheers and his show is being given the friends treatment and being repeated over and over and over again until it gets to the point where you want to either ......
A) Kill everyone who ever had anything to do with the show
B) Kill yourself
After booking flights to America and getting myself on Fraiser and Freind's tours ( option A ) i then went to work.
Me and my Girlfriend are off on a travelling trip of a lifetime in a couple of days and lets just say my head is not "in the game" at work . I am gayfully strolling around work with my head already on a beach drinking Buckets in Asia ! and this isn't always a good thing when you are dealing with thousonds of pounds of other peoples money! But to put it bluntly i dont give a shit !"
Fuck off mate ! I couldn't give a shit about you , my brain is on the beach!
After a day of floating around at work i went home and had curly fries, cheese and beans and sat and watched Battle for L.A which to make this entry a bit more exciting i am going to review
Story line
Well its about a Bloke who is a marine ( he is a classic American hero been in a lot of battles, has lost a lot of men in a bad last mission sort of shit) and is a bit old so is due to leave the force and retire and fish until he dies (Thats not in the film) .BUT !! aliens invade earth ( for what reason we are not 100% sure but there is a loose tie in with them wanting all of the earths water !) Hence the Bloke gets called back into action and must help lead a team of maries ( full of all of the usual chracatures a fresh out of collage lieutenant who has never seen battle before, a funny one, a crazy one and one who's brother got killed whilst the main bloke was in charge of his platoon and has a chip on his shoulder) firstly to a Police station to save civilions and then after that...save the world .
Acting / writing / dialog
Where to start with this i really dont know . Its terrible ...in fact i feel that this is actually worse than what we saw in Independance Day! You heard me right ! Its cheesier and even more wooden ( please leave out any thoughts of cheesy wood as that is a bit wrong). I would pickout a scene but there are almost to many to even refere to without feeling bad for leaving another one out. My Favorite line in the movie though has got to be the scene were the main bloke has dragged a half dead alien into a warehouse and they are looking into the best way to kill it and one of the civlians goes up to him and spouts out " Can i help? I am a veterinarian!" . Absolute gold !
Overall rating 1 out of 5
If you took out the bad acting, screen play , special effects , poor storyline and weak cast you wouldn't have a film left at all . I on occasion like bad films (B movies) but this one is far to bad and had far to big a budget for me to even entertain liking it ! Its is not quite as bad as Alone in the Dark but then again what is ? but it is without doubt one of the worst films i have ever seen in my life .
Ratings
1- Kill me right now 2- I would rather sleep with Heather from Eastenders 3- Not shit 4- Mike strutters strutter bubble 5- The dogs knob
Please click on the Not shit ( above) and watch it as i dont think i have ever laughed so much / been so disturbed in a long time.
Then after that i went to bed and fell asleep and woke up a couple of times to go to the toilet FML i am getting old!
So i got up this morning or should i say got woken up this morning by my young lady whilst she was getting ready for work . Mabs (my girlfriend) is certainly not a morning person, when she is getting ready for work she can create more carnage than the Kraken and make more noise than Death punk Metal band ! So i woke from my slumber and i was pretty pissed off which didn't help with my negotiation with the misses about getting a cuppa brought to me in bed ! So i got my old ass out of bed made MYSELF a brew and sat and watched Fraiser an channel 4. Hes the Jolly Balding fella who was a bit part on Cheers and his show is being given the friends treatment and being repeated over and over and over again until it gets to the point where you want to either ......
A) Kill everyone who ever had anything to do with the show
B) Kill yourself
After booking flights to America and getting myself on Fraiser and Freind's tours ( option A ) i then went to work.
Me and my Girlfriend are off on a travelling trip of a lifetime in a couple of days and lets just say my head is not "in the game" at work . I am gayfully strolling around work with my head already on a beach drinking Buckets in Asia ! and this isn't always a good thing when you are dealing with thousonds of pounds of other peoples money! But to put it bluntly i dont give a shit !"
After a day of floating around at work i went home and had curly fries, cheese and beans and sat and watched Battle for L.A which to make this entry a bit more exciting i am going to review
Story line
Well its about a Bloke who is a marine ( he is a classic American hero been in a lot of battles, has lost a lot of men in a bad last mission sort of shit) and is a bit old so is due to leave the force and retire and fish until he dies (Thats not in the film) .BUT !! aliens invade earth ( for what reason we are not 100% sure but there is a loose tie in with them wanting all of the earths water !) Hence the Bloke gets called back into action and must help lead a team of maries ( full of all of the usual chracatures a fresh out of collage lieutenant who has never seen battle before, a funny one, a crazy one and one who's brother got killed whilst the main bloke was in charge of his platoon and has a chip on his shoulder) firstly to a Police station to save civilions and then after that...save the world .
Acting / writing / dialog
Where to start with this i really dont know . Its terrible ...in fact i feel that this is actually worse than what we saw in Independance Day! You heard me right ! Its cheesier and even more wooden ( please leave out any thoughts of cheesy wood as that is a bit wrong). I would pickout a scene but there are almost to many to even refere to without feeling bad for leaving another one out. My Favorite line in the movie though has got to be the scene were the main bloke has dragged a half dead alien into a warehouse and they are looking into the best way to kill it and one of the civlians goes up to him and spouts out " Can i help? I am a veterinarian!" . Absolute gold !
Overall rating 1 out of 5
If you took out the bad acting, screen play , special effects , poor storyline and weak cast you wouldn't have a film left at all . I on occasion like bad films (B movies) but this one is far to bad and had far to big a budget for me to even entertain liking it ! Its is not quite as bad as Alone in the Dark but then again what is ? but it is without doubt one of the worst films i have ever seen in my life .
Ratings
1- Kill me right now 2- I would rather sleep with Heather from Eastenders 3- Not shit 4- Mike strutters strutter bubble 5- The dogs knob
Please click on the Not shit ( above) and watch it as i dont think i have ever laughed so much / been so disturbed in a long time.
Then after that i went to bed and fell asleep and woke up a couple of times to go to the toilet FML i am getting old!
I've heard that it's pretty bad. Not even good from a mindless action movie point of view.
ReplyDeleteAny comment I might of planned to write went out the window when I saw the label on this post.
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA
Your post is scheduled for the 25th Dec, but as we'll both be sat on a beach somewhere hot I guess that's irrelevant.
Well unless you're heading for Thailand. In which case there's a good chance you'll be swimming through Bangkok.
Christmas day ?! Fantastic !
ReplyDeleteI will be on my mates resort for Christmas so won't get to see it but by my being probably rather drunk and exceptionally tanned I will get over it !
Allen it's dog shit ! Stay well away from both of the. Movies
ReplyDeleteOh fuck...typo - it's the 15th.
ReplyDeleteIf I posted it xmas day nobody would read it.
When are you off ? And where's the first stop ?
Nosy cunt aren't I.
I don't care when you post it as I gave it to you to do as you wish ! Thanks for using it !
ReplyDeleteI fly on November the 1st !
Thai land first then to Burma, Borneo,laos, Malaysia, Singapore , oz, NZ then Bali , Fiji then to Africa then south America ! 3 years we will be away all bein good!