Thursday, 10 April 2014

Fat cunt getting fit!

I am trying to get fit and this is my start point! 

Every other cock end out there is doing some fit diary blog thing. So I thought to myself "fuck it! I'm going to have a go at it and be honest about it". 

So this getting fit malarky started when someone stopped me in the street and said "oi fat cunt! Where is McDonald's?" At the time I was eating a Mars bar and drinking from a 2ltr bottle of cola. I looked at myself and thought "that bloke is right you know....where the fuck is McDonald's?? Why is there not one in the area I live? How have I managed to move somewhere where I need to walk 30 mins to find the closest Golden Arches?" And then having thought that it dawned on me that I am fat! 

My first step was to join a gym! I hate gyms. Full of sad fucks who have no friends and like looking at themselves in the mirror! People who think it's appropriate to talk to you without your permission!!! This is how my first "chat" went with a fellow gym goer.

Cunt - alright mate you just getting back into fitness.

Me - fuck off.

It's cintilating stuff I know..

Anyway..... I go to the gym every day and when I am not avoiding social interaction I am running or lifting weights. I literally do   Both of these until I can't be arsed anymore. The working out isn't my problem, my problem is Guinness!!! I could have worse problems I guess but at 200 calories a pint it's a big problem for someone who is trying to lose weight. 

So this blog will be turning into a fat diary for the next few months. I will be giving advice on work outs, diet and recipes that involve Guinness! 

Stay tuned.